Praise God I just celebrated 14 years of sobriety, 5115 days one day at a…
Merry Christmas my Peeps! It’s finally here, Christmas Day!
As I sat alone with God this morning my mind was flooded with Christmas memories.
Memories as a child, opening a seemingly endless number of presents from Santa.
Memories as a motorcycle club president, dropping off 12 packs with bows to the members.
Memories of homelessness, selling the presents my dad had driven 550 miles to give me.
Memories of Mom and Dad, who loved this holiday in an incredible way.
And memories of last year, the last Christmas with my sweet momma, just days after receiving her cancer diagnosis.
We said good bye to her on May 10th, 5 short months later, and life has not been the same, will never be the same again. As I think about the last 7 months since her passing I realize I’ve experienced so much pain, so much regret, so much sorrow, and so much happiness! I’m not happy to have lost my momma. In fact I’m nearly devastated this morning as I spend my first Christmas without a parent. The emptiness is unparalleled. However God has helped me to recognize the “Collateral Happiness”
Last night, as I stood on the front porch talking to Pamela and looking at my Harley sitting in front of the house I just kept telling her I was staring at something I had dreamed of my entire adult life. The motorcycle I was able to buy because of my mothers death. I’ve come to realize my purpose, God’s purpose for me, what I was created to do as a result of my mothers passing. In the last 7 months hundreds of lives have been impacted for God’s Glory, ultimately as a result of my mothers death. I won’t even begin to limit God by trying to imagine what He has for my future as I travel the country sharing the message that Change is Possible.
The real true happiness of my mothers passing is her being in the presence of Jesus. Her spending time with my dad, sister, and other family members that are already resident’s of Heaven. The purpose God has given me as a result I call “Collateral Happiness”. Happiness that impacts outside of the target zone.
As I sit here this mourning hurting, mourning the loss of both my parents and thinking about how much I miss them. I’m comforted by the Collateral Happiness that God is reminding me of daily. I don’t know what you may be going through or dealing with today however I promise, if you’ll keep looking you’ll see the Collateral Happiness that God intends for you to realize. By the way, don’t feel guilty to enjoy the happiness that results from the pain. I love ya’ll. Merry Christmas.